As noted before, Bondage gets much of the attention when talking about the BDSM lifestyle. However, a much more integral part is the domination and submission dynamic. Generally speaking, one partner takes on a role of the ‘dominant’ and the other takes on the role of ’submissive’ and becomes sub-serviant. On the surface, this sounds very one-sided and simplistic and this is where many people want to jump into this lifestyle headfirst. However, there is an art to fulfilling either role and it is our quest to become ever better within them that fuels our exploration of Amateur BDSM. In order to be a ‘good’ dominant partner, one has to discover and fulfill the needs of any submissive who wishes to serve. The submissive will have desires and needs that must be met in order for them to provide the servitude that a Master desires. It is this give-and-take, this discernment of another’s needs that provides much of the intrigue that surrounds our ‘kinky’ lifestyle. Of course, within amateur BDSM there are many levels of domination and submission and each couple or group must find their own path to a harmonious relationship.

Some people get the impression, and perhaps rightly so, that BDSM centers around one partner being tied up, chained, or somehow restrained. Much of the imagery that we find on the web certainly emphasizes the bondage side of the equation. However, to just focus on the restraints or physcial acts is really a superficial and perhaps misleading view of what many of us enjoy within a BDSM relationship.

In every relationship, whether sexual or otherwise, each participant is expected to take on a role. Think about it, at work you are ‘the boss’ or ‘the employee’ and certain things are expected from you because of the role you have. The success or failure of a relationship can at least partly be assigned to how well each person plays their assigned role. In our everyday lives, the roles we are supposed to play may not be as clearly defined as we would like, or perhaps we are being asked to play roles that don’t really fit our personalities or desires.

BDSM provides a way for its participants to choose the roles they wish to play and to more strictly define those roles. It allows a person to say to another person specifically how an interaction should occur and what they are hoping for as an outcome. Ideally, the parties involved compliment one another (as in a submissive would hope to find a dominant) and are able to explore the roles they have chosen in depth.

Obviously, this post just scratches the surface of BDSM and its related issues. We want to delve further into this unique lifestyle and share our discussions, our questions, our insights, the sexy pictures, and much more here with you.